18 Months of the Bambino

Our Albert Otto Neudeck V has been part of our lives for a year and a half now (well, 20 months by the time I got around to posting this…oops), which means it’s time for a little check-in so I can share the biggest things I’ve learned by the 18-month mark, which seems to be considered a milestone

That actually brings me to my main learning: milestones ain’t all they’re cracked up to be. You hear all these markers for when children “usually” start walking or talking or blowing kisses. Did I worry for a hot second that all of Finn’s buddies started walking months before him? Or that one of the girls in his class already says a handful of words in multiple languages? Sure, but as my Mom reminds me, “they’re all the same once they’re 3.” Finn was an “elderly” 15.5 months when he started walking and is still a bit wobbly at 18 months. And the only “words” he says are “uh oh,” “buh bye,” and “Daddy.” But he’s walking. And based on his reaction when we ask him a question or to do something, the comprehension is there so I’m not at all concerned about his vocabulary. As long as you witness progress, just know that they almost always all get there in their own time. Instead, I’ve focused on the less obvious milestones I notice myself: the first time he closed the pantry door when I asked, every time he indicates a preference for the book we read, and when he started using the banister to try and do the stairs in our courtyard.
Sometimes gender-based stereotypes ring true. I haven’t wanted to put Finn into a box and, while I’m far from a Sad Beige Mom, I have always leaned into gender neutral toys and clothing. I also make sure he’s surrounded by lots of cool women and offer a variety of activities so he doesn’t think there’s just one way to be. And yet, from temperament to toys, he seems all boy. Does it matter either way? Nope. And his personality is still forming. But it’s interesting to see so far.
He does actually care about us. Finn isn’t a snuggly or super affectionate boy so I was worried he hadn’t formed much of an attachment to us…but then I see him go nuts any time Albie walks into the room and realize he just might like us (or at least his Dad) a little extra.
Toddlers can pick up a routine. It’s true that Finn has always been a very adaptable baby (sleep training was a breeze and he leans into every school schedule change), but he seems to really notice the routines we establish and even looks to make his own. He walks straight to his table with his bib when it’s time to eat and he can sense that bedtime is coming if it’s late afternoon and we’ve taken him to the back of the apartment. When we left him with my parents for a few days he only cried on the first evening – and it happened to be at a weeknight at exactly time time of day when we would normally pick him up from school and hang for an hour and a half. I believe he was less angry/sad that we were gone than he was about his routine being upset.
There’s no right way to be a baby (or a parent). I was recently hanging out with a group of friends and we all had our kids in tow. The babies all had different personalities and the Moms all had different parenting styles. Some kids were on a schedule; some ate only organic; some loved to watch tv. They were all happy and healthy so as long as your way works for your family, that’s all that matters. It also made me realize that there may be reasons why parents make certain choices so we shouldn’t assume or judge. For instance I didn’t stop giving Finn cheese and pizza because we’re some sort of no junk food house…I stopped because he wasn’t pooping and we’ve had to make some dietary adjustments so he’s not in tears every time he needs to go to the bathroom.
It’s vital to get up and go. I now understand why I always saw my parent friends out and about on their Instagrams so early on weekends. It’s because being lazy isn’t a thing for babies/toddlers. Finn goes stir crazy quickly so we need to go on adventures to the park, a museum, music class, or even just do simple at-home activities like reading or coloring. Whatever it is, we need to be doing something if he’s awake.
Get help from the masters. I’m very happy to do crafts and activities on the weekend, but it’s much easier for me when it’s planned out. If I clap and sing at home, I can’t seem to fill more than ten minutes, but an hour in a music class is over in the blink of an eye. I recently signed up to receive activity boxes from Learning with Kelsey. It’s meant to be one activity per day – a month’s worth of activities for under $50 – but since he’s in school all day, we stack the activities and make the most of our weekends. The boxes come with everything you need so it takes the guess work out of planning and means I’m not picking up materials from a bunch of different places (and winding up with excess paint or something).
Stash the freezer. Packing Finn’s lunch is usually super easy: he eats whatever leftovers Albert and I have from our supper the night before. This is only a problem if, say, I have a happy hour and don’t cook supper the night before. For these occasions, it’s important to pretty much always have fruit/avocados and hummus on hand, as well as a freezer stocked with items like fully cooked and microwavable meatballs, dumplings, and veggie bites.